Allied

This was an very romantic film. It did touch my deepest emotions. They met in the war zone, experienced the true love that had no boundaries, and were able to forgive each other. I am wondering can we experience something like that today? I must admit, that I was fortunate enough to say, that I did experience love and true feelings, that will always be present in some level. Person I met, was not allied, but was rather an man, that was not brave enough. His fears were stronger than love, than any emotions. Even, I could feel him even on the distance, and in some occasions predict what he will txt me, or say….some his fears were so huge, that it was not enough space for all of us in that world. Anxiety he had, from his children, ex wife, friends, judgment of society, were just unspeakable. Chemistry between us was strong, I will rather say fatal attraction. We shared 3 and half years together, and of all I can just remember trip to Africa, that will always remind in my heart. He accomplished my long dream, and took me to Africa, safari. It was a trip of my life, all that wild, and nature, fight for life, and surviving…sun set, and early mornings, freezing and riding around, admiring the world that is waking up. No, that cannot be replaced…That was the best 2 weeks in my life, I will always love him bcs of that, just bcs of those 2 weeks of magic he gave to me. Maybe if stayed life will be different, but we could not, and as soon as we landed, the magic was over and the reality kick in. I always wonder, why we change??? Why some people are so influenced by the judgment of society, and what other people will say and think? How world will look alike, if we live our lives, and make our own decisions, without influence of other people? Personally, I never care what people think about me, and what they will say!!!! Who are they? I look at life like a stage, like a show that is directed and produced on our own! We have this one life, and can we repeated it? I am not sure, even if answer is yes, we can not turn back time and redo things. My personality is not that is in align with my surrounding! I do not care, and I like to give, and to take and to enjoy…I dream about perfect relationship, just like one from movie Allied, one where you can betrayed everything, but still stand for the feelings, and children….For a moment I thought I found it in My mr Perfect, and maybe we did have it , for moment, but it was not complete…Mr Perfect had so much anxiety, he carried a burden of time, his so called friends, his family, opinion of so many people, that it was too much. While, me i was ready to stand for it all, and not really giving a damn thing what will others think. Still I remember the moments when he will bite his nails and be nervous, how we will hide from his ex wife, it was so ridiculous, so not needed….He did try to respect all aspects of social rules, while me was a rule breaker, born to challenge it all, and everyone. I do love him still, and he will remain love of my life, and our love is living through our daughter. But, i am happy I am not with him anymore, and I do not need to see him suffering and drowning in his fear. I have eyes to see some other destiny now, and I can laugh… I am not sure if i feel love for him, or i feel sorry for him… Maybe both, but definitely,  I feel good, happy, and have some new goals… I never thought I will be able to live without him by my side, and the strange thing is that t5his new life turned out to be more quality life than ever before. Our baby, gave a flame in my life, and makes me laugh every day…I feel sorry that he is missing it all, but I cannot cope his fears anymore…I want to be just free…and he is best of the best, king of queens, my Mr Perfect, and nobody is like him…even he is not so good :-)…

Lumitw

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s