Socially acceptable or not?

This world is so full of rules, strict and rigorous. I wonder, do we need to follow the rules? Are we socially acceptable if we play how the others, tailored for us? An who are the others? Why someone in some place, knows what is good and I do not. How people dare to judge each others, just because someone ïmportant”said that is how it supposed to be? Personally, I disagree with those statements. I hate those rules, made from people with double standards. Just if someone has a money, does it necessary mean that he/she is correct in all what they are doing, and others are not? Socially is unacceptable to be totally honest! So, we can be honest, but just in small doses, so that we do not hurt other person if we say what we really think. On the other hand, it is strictly, unacceptable to be a liar! Does it really make sense???? NO! Our society, want us to be liars in small doses, so it means it is acceptable to lie or better to not sa what we really think. We are thought since a childhood, to make double standards. One friend told me in many occasions, he does not tell the truth to his wife, such as that he does not love her, that he is disgusting of her thin lips for years, and that he is having many serious relationships in parallel, just bcs she likes to live in a fantasy world and think everything is fine. He does not want to hurt her feelings, since it will be unacceptable, and she will feel crap, but it is better to smile in her face and make her believe that they are happily married! So, my question is, who is here a liar??? He, she, both??? Am I wrong person?? I was always different, that is how kids saw me from primary school, and it continua through life! I will always tell what i think, and my mum used to tell me it is wrong, do not say what is on your mind…And partially she was right, that my socially unacceptable personality, or better say way of speaking, and communicating, telling truth, and how i really see things, costet me in many occasions, that i was kicked out, people will laugh of me…but on the long run, it brought me up, and i did manage despite being=different, to do something in my life… I can laugh to many around me, socially acceptable people, how stupid they are in my eyes, naive, and now tell me who is acceptable, or unacceptable??? And what is the society…is it just a mask for the liars, to dose better, or who is lying to whom??? At the end we just lie ourselves, and that is what we cannot do, bcs at the end of story, when we stay alone, we do know what we did, and we cannot lie our own mind even if we want… Be brave to be honest, first to yourselv, and than to others….it is more acceptable on the long run…

Lumitw

Silvija

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Rainy evening, not cold, but i did enjoy the feeling. I park my car, sit for a while on the parking and listening raindrops, and looking in the dark. Sometimes, I am not sure if this is all real, or it is happening to someone else, and Ii am just watching it from other side of the road. I feel so much different things, and I do not feel anything at the same time. Music is on, I listen some song that I do not even like and I wonder how it ended up on my iPhone…Finally, I open the door and leave towards hospital, its dark all over the place, no people, just rain. For a moment I thought  can go for a walk and skip the visit…but …I love hospitals at night, it is silent, but has some atmosphere… always think someone is born somewhere now, and someone is dying, and others are sleeping…having one more or few more days…I open the door, and I see my dad sitting alone , hall is empty, and smell is different…it smell on old people, end of life and just on waiting for one more day. I say, TATA- it is dad on Serbian language. He looks my direction, smiles on me, but he does not know who am I at all, not today…some days he does, but most days he does not. I kiss him, he smiles again..i ask him how is he…and he start talking, different things…I am sitting and listening, and thinking about life, and what is the point of life…Is that all? Could it be??? All this running for money, kids, Christmas presents, BD presents…stress, tears, fears, is that all just to end up one day like this??? I am not even scared, but rather disappointed, with all…I think what I want of my life, what I want from this evening??? Is it one evening that is like all the others or it will be different?? I say goodbye and leave the ward, and  I am back to the rainy night…I do not know where I want to go??? Shall I go to Mr Perfect??? Tell him how much I love him? SHall I go for a joy ride and listen to the music… No, nothing will change, tonight was the same routine, i do hope one night i will change it, and do the other way around… Until than, the rain stopped, and the lights of the car are shining all over…. I am just tired, and sad bcs I miss my dad…I want to ask him what to do, he always knew the answer…Goodnight my dad, I will always miss you….

Yours Baby…

LUMITW

Miami heat in Brussels

Saturday is almost over. What a day, what an evening! almost 6 years packed in few hrs..and still managed to eat! I consider this as an sucess really. My friend from Miami, came to see me, just bcs of me, and bcs he likes me the way I am. Finally I did not need to hide, or pretend. In a chilly, windy Brussels night, I could feel the heat of Miami all of the sudden. It was not cold and empty anymore, and the warm of smile, and evening brought me to believe that still real friends exist. I love people who are open minded, free, not stuck in the morality that is served by society. 2st century, does not bring any more moral, if the moral exists at all. Let’s leave this topic for some other time, since I can write a book just thinking about it. Miami will always have a special place in my heart. My Julia is born there, I met so many nice people, successful, brave, and interesting. Smart, and nasty at the same time. But I did love all of that in them, even the nasty side of them I did appreciate. Not all can be nasty in a sophisticated way. We spoke about so many things, laughing, crying, but being happy to exchange the reality, and conclude that the light at the end of tunnel is always there, just depend if we are on the curve of tunnel and cannot see it, or we are looking straight. I did remember all evenings going to different places in Miami, every evening, with no exception. Even the storm could not top us to check some of the places. Watching people dancing and not dare to step to dance? Yes, so many times…but I can dance in my soul, and feel like I am flying and dancing. Some people just know life, have to cope with many situations for years, since young age. That made my friend to be sharp, and to see things that others cannot see. That is why, even not in Miami, I could feel the heat. And it felt good, warm, nice, familiar and could for the moment feel the gap i miss for sometime. It was just a glance…however nothing can shine . However I realized one thing tonight, and that is – ” don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner”.

Lumitw

Silvija

 

Hiding and Survivor

Just now I google myself, and I can see some of mine pic and my blog, G+, amazing. Finally I do not need to hide anymore. I am coming from communist country, where I was thought by my parents, mostly father, that since I am Jew by my mum, and Catholic by my father, we are not politically appropriate, so we should keep low profile and not expose, bcs someone can do something, or point finger to me. Than I did grow, and still it was war, so let’s hide…My first husband, did hide me also from his family, and after the fact who am I really, where my roots are from ect…Than I met second husband, one that i did marry with bcs of papers, and we did not have love for each other, but it was rather like good friends getting married with occasional benefits. He had real issue, he was hiding everywhere. We will in occasions speak over the phone but we cannot mention things, bcs “they” can hear us! I never really understood, who are they, but I guess someone important and with influence. But, who we are? I do not consider myself so important, and I guess that “they” can be after some more dangerous people, than one simple woman and man having phone conversation. Than, finally that funny relationship has ended, and I meet love of my life. Mr right! I do feel good I can say, I did met a man I could love… Guess what! He was hiding me again…for yrs, it was an inappropriate relationship, so we did hide, from his ex wife, family, friends, work, street, school…we even hide a child!!!! Incredible…Finally, even I love Mr Right, I am free of him too. That was to much hiding for me, and I am person, that love freedom before everything and everyone! Freedom is priceless! That is why now I decided, I will not hide anymore, people can google my name and look me up. All I write is available and visible to world, and I am not scared who will say what and what people will think! I simply do not care, I just care now what feels good for me. I teach my children, to be free, express themselves, not be ashamed of who they are…enjoy freedom… My friend from Miami told me once while he was getting divorced, and spend loads of money for attorneys, that divorce is expensive bcs freedom is priceless! He was so right!

Happy Friday, and be yourself, always, who cannot accept that, should go and hide 🙂 I choose to be seen 🙂

Love

Silvija

Chanel forever!

Chanel..I think one of the most sophisticated brands ever. Not that I love all the models, but the original, vintage one for sure. This will be always in, and you can never go wrong with those shoes, or simple black and white combination. You have touch of elegance, sophistication, and you do look sexy. And what does it mean looking sexy? Wearing open blouse, and short skirt? Flashing your body all over the place? I personally, prefer to keep best for the best part of evening :-). But, taste is different, and as age change that is how our fantasy and taste change :-)…so please, who knows… For sure we should work to develop our own style and try to be original, no matter what is it,. Chanel (I vote for it and Edward Achour) bcs every original is always better than fake imitation …

In the meantime, enjoy the view on Chanel everlasting shoes, they did change the history of shoes in one way…

Cheers

Silvija

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