Take the Lead

What a beautiful performance! In Miami used to be place, where I will go alone, and sit and watch people dancing so passionate…I love passion, to express emotions, definitely I do not belong in this cold, calculated world and people who are scared of their own shadow.

My advice is, take a chance, dance, even if you are not good, express yourself, do not be a stif tree in the forest:-)…

Cheers

Silvija

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London in pictures

Here are the few pic of my London trip last week…Saw The Bodyguard musical with my friend Nassima in Dominion Theater…Thank her so much for making my evening such a fun and beautiful. I really loved it and needed a getaway from myself mostly :-)…

Lumitw

Silvija

 

Man from the train

Today, I came back home after 5 days of being in London. Day started very early, and I was so tired, after long evening at Oxford Theatre night before. I did my 5K running, and packed my stuff. Somehow, by magic, or my shopaholic side of personality I manage to arrive light, but traveling back is always a challenge. I was tired, took taxi to train station, and took a nap as well. I could not dream I will meet a most beautiful man in my life! I sit in coach 12, seat 45, taking out my iPad and getting ready to watch some of my good mood boosters movies I have :-). But than, I see him!!!! He has a short blond hair, coloured, eyes to kill, not blond, or maybe very, very light blond one, almost silver or white. Like a snow queen from Narnia. He wears an orange sweater, but it was colour like and fresh squeezed orange. His face is just perfect, lips, smile, skin.. Man, it is not attraction to someone, it is like and Greek God sitting on the seat 32, living one! Train started to move towards Brussel direction, and usually I am sad, and down, full of different thoughts and watch the remains of London, how it stays further and further away…But this time, I can tell you, I did not spot train moving at all. I stand up, and decide to move across of him… We started conversation right away, you know when you just click with someone in a nanosecond. He speaks my language as well…and we start talking, different things…He is 29, beautiful, he tells me his life story, and I was watching his lips moving and his face, his perfectly pearly teeth, white… I can be his mother…It was such a strange feeling, I did not notice time is passing, he was so full of energy, smiling, so many stories from all over the world….It was an attraction to personality, and I admired his beauty. He is gay, from recently, was not until 2-3 yrs ago…No I was not disappointed, I was glad it is this way, so he can be my friend. I was blown away by his beauty…perfect face symmetry, way he speaks, how he is full of joy and life. I could not move my eyes from him! Did not blink I think hahahahaha, just full impression by someone who has it all. Magic of the moment that lasted 2 hrs was interrupted by the announce that we are approaching Brussels… My Mr Adonis and me exchanged phone nrs, and agree we will meet for a coffee, and he promised he will take me to dancing party, and I love dancing… It is a different sort of attraction to someone, not like woman to a man, or fatal attraction, he came as an inspiration, as a refreshment…like a hope for a desert soul. Even if I never meet with him, I think he is a man, that deserves that special attention. I told him you are so young, and you have it all…enjoy your life. He gave a kiss when we were exiting, and he vanished in the ocean of people, but I will remember him for a long time… He reminds me on the Yazoo song – Ode to a boy, yes it is just him…I love the song, but could not ever connect her to anyone in particular, but now I can say, yes this song is made for him :-)…

Cheers

Silvija

London story

Walking on the streets of London, but being nowhere. I am sure we all experienced the feeling that we are just like in a bubble floating around, and we are no where.My level of excitment coming to London was really huge! Now when I think back, I was too happy, excited, full of plans how I will turn this week in an awesome one. Now, when I am living this week, I realize how it is not week in London, but days are locked inside of me, and I am living in a limbo. Monday, I was walking all day in the streets of London, Oxford street, Regent street…Coffee shops around, fancy stores, Christmas atmosphere. People passing by, some in hurry, some relaxed. But me, no I could not feel the ground. I came back to places I wanted to see again, where I used to be happy and enjoy. However, you cannot be happy always I guess. My personality is, when i close the door and leave, I do not open those door again in my life. However, sometimes, skeletons from past are knocking on the door from inside and ask you to open the wardrobe, and let them out. Well, catch is that once you open the door, you do not enter the Narnia, but rather Hulk rollercoaster, that is taking you down, in a speed of light. Why we face all those feelings? As years passing, the burden of negativity is popping up more, and we start at the end to feel comfortably numb, and ignorant. Can this be explanation for old people being so “wise”? Life should learn us the different lessons, but why? So we can die smart and full of experience? And for what? Is there are life after life? Because, in this life things are much harder, so that we can enjoy the after life? Honestly, even I always believed that there are something after, now I think it is just an illusion.And I wonder, seriously, why is all of this? For what? I am not sure but I guess other people sometimes think the same… It is so difficult to be locked in my own fantasy world, and look everything the way I see…I feel like from, it is just eyes, connected with brain, and that my body died long time ago…I am cold, but I cannot feel the cold, I am tired, but I keep walking, I am fed up of things but I keep smiling… When is this all going to end? And how? Someone told me I have the answers, but I do not remember them…where are they? In Ritz? Were the answer in Ritz London where I was last night, having dinner and laughing, but crying??? What do I want??? Is the Ritz change I need? I am worried, it is not, it is just another illusion, new bubble, that might bring me something more material, but feelings are still comfortably numb.. However, it is time for a new work day, new simulation of whatever it is today…or the thing we call life.

Good morning London, where ever you are…

Silvija

Pink Roses

Honestly, i was convinced all my life that I love just white roses! All rest was nice, but never beautiful, and nothing could ever compare with white roses. It was like that all the way until the other evening, I did not receive Pink Roses :-)…I was very surprised, that someone can send me something else, really. For the moment I thought that it must be mistake, and that delivery is for the house next door, but then I see my name on the card! Wait a min, my BD is in June, Christmas is not here yet, and yes, my feelings are never wrong, I knew it before I saw the signature, and yes, I was very happy. Old friend, one that was almost my husband, but I guess it was just not meant to happen, said, I know you love white roses, but I know that is time for change, so why you do not try pink one and see how it feels? Also, I thought you might enjoy dinner in Jeux d’hiver as well, so I booked the place for you and someone who you consider special, since I am in Orlando, and cannot share the evening with you, but can try to do something you love and it is to surprise you as I know you do not expect this :-)… Ahhhhhhh,for a moment I thought, yes, you are crazy man, but I love it, and you know me so well, better than anyone else. I think he knows things about me that I do not even know. And, here are some pic I took, I realized I do like pink roses as well, and I especially love those…

Thank you Boss…dinner was just perfect, and I did share it with myself…

Silvija