In memory of my loving dad ❤ (07 Oct 1931 – 25 Dec 2017) ❤

How to start saying goodbye? And what is the old Year and New Year? Where is the difference…that line that cut and separate us from the sins of the last year and bring our souls clear and nice in the New year? I am not even sure what are we celebrating, and why? Never was able to get the point of being massively drunk, for one night on the square and celebrate and count down time when the time is counting anyway by itself since the day we are born, as that is the moment when the count down starts. More I think, more I do not understand, and I just get more anxious that it is all created to make us feel better and reset the clock…but you cannot reset the time, you cannot turn back the time even you want, nor you can move it forward . Clock is ticking, surely…even if we do not have it…and what is the point of the timing…that we feel better or worse by the time that is passing. Do we need it at all? All is in our minds, no matter what…we are the only creators of perception of time. Why we do not look at the time and life as a long lasting day, as actually it is always day somewhere, somehow…and at night we just look as a day that makes us having a best meditation ever and longest one…as someone said, sleeping is the best meditation :-). We can be optimistically turned to the world and life and say I live one long day…no there is no darkness, it is just light, our law of attraction that attracts light and positive things…We can say that people who see dark are the pessimists, and have a dark souls, that is exhausted and cannot reach the light…or they lost the feeling for the light. Actually, if you look better there is no absolute dark at all, even the moon shine, and if there is no moon stars are twinkling and share with us the little span of light that can show us the way to the future…and than I ask myself, what is the future? Tomorrow??? But there is no tomorrow, there is no yesterday ether…it is all one long day with no time…no New or Old years, just us, with our light and dark souls that are floating around. I choose light…as at the end , there is no end bcs each time something is closed, the new door will open…door of new emotions, new disappointment, strange attraction…feelings…each time we think something has come to it end, the new start is there…sometimes we can see it, sometimes we can feel it…all depend what we want to admit to ourselves. Is there life after life…or this long day is just one long day, tiring, and we decide to cut the agony and free our soul to the unknown… Shall we fear death? Shall we be sad when someone is gone…I do not know. I am lost in the ocean of time, words and thoughts that are crossing my mind…My father died a week ago, today I was alone on his funeral…just me, my father and priest…I loved him a lot, he was old, sick..nothing unusual happened…I decided to have funeral just alone with no one else present, in strange country…and all I wondered was is it the end? Or it is new start? And new start should be better…John Lennon said – If it is not okay it is not the end! Does it mean now my dad is ok? Am I ok? I still wonder…I will always wonder…but I will choose to see life as a long day…no time, no years, no past.. there is no clear cut but the day when we die, that is a really something New…otherwise I can finish with words of legendary lady

“Tomorrow never happens. it’s the same fucking day, man.” ― Janis Joplin.

Love you always ❤


3 thoughts on “In memory of my loving dad ❤ (07 Oct 1931 – 25 Dec 2017) ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s